I’ve felt fear in varying levels throughout my life –
¨ That recurring dream when I was 5 of the Big Bad Wolf chasing me.
¨ Fearing I’d never meet The One when I was a teen/young adult.
¨ That time when I was 7 months pregnant and farted in my empty office and then sat paralyzed when my co-workers walked back in early…..could they smell it or not??
¨ Being told, mistakenly, there was something wrong with Jimmy’s heart before he was born.
¨ Joey being admitted to the hospital at 6 weeks and not knowing what the problem was.
¨ Watching the first 15 seconds of a horror movie preview before realizing what it is.
¨ Having so many kids I’d have to buy a minivan.
¨ Not having enough kids.
¨ Walking in a crosswalk and being hit by the rematerializing DeLorean DMC-12…Coming back to the future.
¨ Will I ever lose all this baby weight? And on a related note…will my boobs hit my knees before I hit 35?
¨ At the rate I’m losing hair in the Post Partum Shed Fest I’m scared spit less I’ll be bald before Christmas.
But Monday night I experienced a level of fear I’ve never attained before. We sat watching tv and Lilly was sitting in her swing. During a commercial we realized she’d angled her body, on her own, to be able to see the tv better. We were amazed at the ingenuity at such a young age and talked about how smart all three of our kids are. It’s incredible to see their intelligence even as young as 5 months. I’m sure we’re slightly biased but even with the bias we know our children are extremely intelligent.
Then it hit me. My children will probably be smarter than me. Oh shhhiiii…..yikes. That strikes fear to the bone on so many levels. They are going to be able to outsmart me…and I’m no dummy. I’m incredibly proud but also shocked to the core that I’ve just realized this. Will I know when they’ve outsmarted and outmaneuvered me? Or will I just be bumping along in ignorant bliss while they exchange knowing looks and giggle behind my back? Oh the horror!