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Does anyone remember this?


Five years ago I was having a bad day; a string of bad days really. I remember feeling a little off balance on my way to work. I already knew I had a bumper lip and a lip that big would make anyone feel off balance but that wasn’t quite it. When I got to work I decided to take a picture of my poor lip to send my mom – you know, so she’d feel sorry for me – and saw that not only did I have a bumper lip but my glasses were completely cockeyed!! It seems that the mirror lies and the camera is brutally honest. I mean even though I was plainly having a bad hair and lip day I did look in the mirror before I went to work and still didn’t see that my glasses were practically hanging off my face. It does explain why I felt a little off balance though since the frame of my glasses were basically in my field of vision…it was throwing everything off.

I had them adjusted and went on with my life and I’ve now had those glasses for 11 years! We’ve seen approximately 25 trends in eyewear come and go in that time but why mess with a good thing, right? My prescription never changed enough to warrant new glasses so I bought my 6 month supply of contacts every year and made them last a year and wore my glasses when I had too. Dry Eye came knocking though (the eye dr mentioned something about it being age related but I ignored him) and now I can only wear my contacts somewhere between 30 minutes and 6 hrs before I want to pluck my eyeballs out and spit on them. So I’ve been wearing my glasses more often which seems to fascinate Joey. He tried his hand at adjusting them recently with poor results. I tried having them adjusted again by a professional and there wasn’t much they could do. So between Dry Eye and Joey I decided it was time to get some new glasses.

I tried on about 20 different frames trying to find some that would look good on me but also something really different from what I’ve been wearing for 11 years. I’d try a pair on, take a picture and text it to Ricardo. I couldn’t see anything so I was relying on him to tell me what looked best. They weren’t going through in order though so he’d say stuff like “those are too big”, “looks good” and “I like the last ones” and I’d have no idea which ones he was talking about. I even called him to clarify and he said stuff like “the small ones” and “the last ones” and I still had no clue. I finally picked out a pair that I thought would be the best and placed my order.


They came in the mail this week. I’ve been wearing them two days now and no one’s noticed….that’s how different they are. *rolls eyes* This morning I happened to notice that they look a little crooked. They’re brand new!! What the hell?? Which leads me to believe the problem all of this time is that my face is the one that’s crooked!

The ones I ended up choosing.